Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
