there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
