I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
