My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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