So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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