he wants to bone in the snuggie
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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