I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
