lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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