She is in my trunk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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