I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
