We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
