i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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