Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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