he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
