what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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