I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
