When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
