Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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