Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
