I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
