Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
