We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
