he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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