What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
