As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
