Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
