dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
