You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
