Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
