Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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