Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
