Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
