A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it's like iHOP with fire
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
