4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Everclear isn't food dammit
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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