If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
