I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
