Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
