I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
