No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
