You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
