just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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