garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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