soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
