I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
