Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
