I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
