Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
zippers are such a cool invention
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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