do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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