didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
