She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
