508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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