So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's always time for handjobs
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
