i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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