Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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