No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
